Best Buddies – Redefining Friendship

 

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“It makes me really happy, even when I’m having a bad day,” says Katie Van Domelen, a senior at Arizona State University.  She is referring to her friendship with Greg Devorce, an adult with intellectual disabilities. The two have been friends for three years.

During their weekly conversations and frequent outings, Devorce spends much of his time providing Van Domelen with snippets of information of which she was previously unaware. “I am amazed at the amount of information he knows. He has an encyclopedic knowledge of music, movies and game shows,” Van Domelen says. “He remembers everything.”

Game shows, in particular, are a passion for Devorce.  So much so that he has invented his own which he calls The Color Game. It is similar to Jeopardy except every answer includes a color.  In his spot-on imitation of Alex Trebec, Devorce booms, “This 1980 movie starred Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins,” then looks at Van Domelen expectantly. She enthusiastically responds, “The Blue Lagoon?” Devorce exclaims, “You are correct!” and they both laugh.

The two would most likely never have connected if it were not for their participation in the ASU chapter of Best Buddies International. Van Domelen and Devorce are one of 23 buddy pairs at ASU.  The student-led organization brings together college students and individuals with intellectual disabilities. According to its website, Best Buddies International has chapters at over 1,300 middle school, high school and college campuses in each of the 50 states and also has accredited programs in 34 countries. The ASU chapter, one of the oldest in the state, began in 1993. 

 

Since 2002, ASU students have been matched into friendships with individuals at the Perry Rehabilitation Center which serves as the chapter’s host site.  Each fall, participants commit to be matched into a friendship for one academic year.  Nancy Tobey, vocational counselor at the Perry Center and host site coordinator for Best Buddies ASU, plays a big role in the lives of a buddy pair. Through an application and interview process, Tobey helps the chapter’s student-leaders determine which student (college buddy) will be matched with which individual from the Perry Center (buddy).  Matches are made based on similar interests and compatible schedules. She also helps with communication if, for example, a college buddy is unable to get a hold of his or her buddy or when a buddy misplaces his or her college buddy’s contact information.

 

Tobey views Best Buddies as a wonderful program for many reasons but, she says, “It all boils down to the fact that everyone needs a friend.” She goes on to explain that, often, people with intellectual disabilities are limited to interacting primarily with people who provide services for them and other people who have disabilities.

 

“Without Best Buddies they don’t really have regular friendships. They have the people they live with. They have the people that are paid to work with them. When those people leave because of another job, they are often devastated,” Tobey explains. “They become frustrated because of course, like you and I, they’d like to make lasting friendships.”

 

Tobey feels the Best Buddies friendships go beyond the usual support and encouragement that friendship offers. “For people with intellectual disabilities, Best Buddies offers social opportunities that they would otherwise not have,” she says.

 

Devorce feels that being a part of Best Buddies at ASU has allowed him to become part of a community. Through his involvement in the program over the past five years, Devorce has gained many fun memories of past Best Buddies events. Some of his favorites were the Valentine’s Day dance held in 2007 and a party where he got to be the DJ, another of his passions. Devorce loves music, especially R&B from the 1960s and 70s. He even has his own mock radio station, consisting of a turn table, set up at home, which was a gift from Van Domelen’s friends. He practices having his own radio station and listening audience.

 

“One of the best programs I’ve ever been involved in,” Devorce said. “I like the college. All of the young people have so much vitality. And I have Katie to talk to.” 

 

Even with all of the enthusiasm he shows when recalling the group activities he’s taken part in, Devorce’s fondest memories are those of hanging out with Van Domelen. He keeps every picture that they’ve taken and souvenirs she’s given him like his frequent buyer card from CiCi’s Pizza. He realizes that her college graduation and finding a job are inevitable.  Even so, he knows that no matter the distance between them, they will always keep in contact.

 

Gabe Lopez-Mobilia, like Van Domelen, has been a member of Best Buddies at ASU for three years. He currently serves as the chapter’s student leader, or college buddy director. He sees participating in Best Buddies as being just as beneficial for college students as for individuals with intellectual disabilities. “Many students learn a less self-absorbed approach to life from their buddies,” he observes.

 

Initially, Lopez-Mobilia was surprised at how limited opportunities for one-to-one friendships are for individuals with intellectual disabilities when compared to those of the college buddies. “It’s so easy for us to overlook that,” he said. Through their buddies, “They [college students] gain an appreciation for the stuff they take for granted like friendship.”

 

Lopez-Mobilia continues to be a college buddy for many reasons. Part of it is because his buddy of three years has become a great friend, but he also feels that the experience has been rewarding and multi-dimensional. He finds the attitudes of many buddies to be refreshing because they tend not to be superficial. “It gives me a different perspective on life.”   

 

Silvana Vetere, Program Supervisor for Best Buddies Arizona, agrees. She sees college as an eye-opening experience for many students. For some, it may be the first time that they champion a cause, learn what talents they have or make decisions independent of their parents. “Students realize that they can be friends with people who aren’t necessarily a carbon copy of themselves,” she said. “People have a lot of things going on when they’re in college and Best Buddies is an opportunity unlike any other to learn something important that isn’t taught in a classroom.”

 

There is a lot of interest from individuals with intellectual disabilities to participate in the Best Buddies program, but there are not always enough college buddies to go around. Not all students feel that they are able to dedicate the time that being a buddy requires. The ones that do, however, are grateful for their experience.

 

Van Domelen, for instance, appreciates Devorce’s happy-go-lucky attitude and his zest for life.  She feels it keeps her grounded. “Greg’s optimism gives me encouragement,” she said, “especially when I get caught up in the craziness of college life.”

 

Mara Zemicael, ASU in the Community feature writer
Asmara.Zemicael@asu.edu
480-965-0335

 

For more information:

Best Buddies at ASU
bestbuddiesASU@gmail.com

 

Best Buddies Arizona
(602) 954-3877
http://www.bestbuddiesarizona.org/

 

Best Buddies International
1-800-89-BUDDY
http://www.bestbuddies.org/

 

The Perry Rehabilitation Center
(602) 956-0400
http://www.azafh.com/contact.htm